A colorful thread… A poem


I seek not to be god nor a king

A Buddha, a Guru, nor Christ

They are who they are not me

I could not carry the heavy burden

As weak as I be, dark roots deep

At the foot of my tree

Some would question what kind of man I am

A mystic of sorts that enjoys the beauty in the ugly

 Of my life lived not planned

Turned to the inner life of the vast universe

By studying ancient wisdom, the occult and divination

Not exactly endorsed by the Saints

In chapter or verse

A friend once asked how do the Universe you find

All that space in such a tiny mind

I asked how much of his did he use

Less than I third for sure he said that I know

I said so did I and I chose to grow

When that less than a third really showed

The space inside of you and me in scale

 is the same space as many galaxies

empty space between held together

with the energy as are all of things created divine

 as they have been and will forever

The atoms, protons, neutrons and sub atomic things

Contain the space to fill the void in between

The fabric of the cosmos and the fabric of my dreams

My dream is not a holy one

Not a dream of a father and his son

Nor of a Chosen gift from heaven

Who gave up an Empire

To understand life and what God truly desires

Nor was I given a gift in the twinkling of an eye

I was given greats lessons with every tear I cried

Conquered many demons

After being beaten many times

I am a mystic so to speak

My inner truth in the universe I seek

I am small yet so large

When I step up and let the universe take charge

I almost see where I stand in our galaxy

The tiny little particle of the divinely created

Co- creating me

Living a life of love as was meant for me

A colorful thread in the fabric of eternity

Thank you for letting me share a thought or two… I had been thinking about some things that people had asked and said to me on a few occasions.. And this is what I found.

I hope we can all share a thought or two and help make our world a better place for all we share it with… We are all connected by just being on the same planet if nothing else. Some one once said the most philosophic statement of our time was spoken by a simple man who didn’t even know the definition of philosophy..

“Why can’t we all just get along”

Thank you Mr King… Rodney king

Please share a smile and share your love be the change positive our world needs.

Spiritual Mastery and what I Aspire to (part one)


I would like to share some thoughts as I learn and grow with the Masters. I have drunk from the spiritual cup so to speak and have been studying the ways of the divine for some time in fact it would seem since my first childhood experiences in Sunday school. The days when I was innocent and ignorant and beginning to ask the question who am I and who or what is God.

Through the years of my life I have often sought the help of God as a way beyond the pain and hardships I was going through. I would pray to God and ask him to stop my step father from beating and abusing me. I would ask God to help me get my father back or to at least have him call. I would ask for the pain to stop and forgiveness when the woman I loved walked away or got angry or I got angry and walked away from her. When I went through two divorces and dozens of jobs It seems I was reaching out more often than when things were good I expressed my love and asked for help.

I have been asked many times do I not know the next level of spirituality can only be obtained when I die. Why do you seek to see and talk to God so much that you would read and study so many religions and dabble with the occult and esoteric or seek enlightenment through the Eastern Philosophies, why read Plato if the Bible was written much later in time and is “the word of God”. What do the Gurus and Buddha have to do with you, you are a baptized Christian do you not believe in the Lord? My step father would ask when you look at the sky and pray what are you praying to the sky?

It starts to come together as I begin to understand my ignorance and embrace it that I aspire to please my maker and in turn as any child make my father proud of his son or creation as it were or if you prefer. I suppose as a child it is my dream to see my father happy and thus be at peace filled with joy and in bliss. Just as I wanted to please my parents and grandparents as a child it is in my soul to please the divine father my maker and God.

 I was inspired by the teachings of the ancients shared through the writings such as the bible and the book of odes, the Daxue, Zhongyong, Platos Republic, and more recently the cloud of unknowing, the writings of Paracelsus, Hermes, and many others. The modern masters like Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer Abraham Hicks, Gandhi, Desmond TuTu,  Thich Nhat Hanh, Osho, and many more. I have for many Christians crossed the line in a way as I study and explore the ways of Divination and the ways of Alchemy so I may have the inner knowledge of the ways of the Universe and understand what I contain within my own being. My physical body a tool or on loan as I experience the life I have here on Earth, not for my benefit but for the benefit of God and his will to live through me and all of us.

I have sought what many would say is impossible or even insane to try although like me when the chips are down they pray to the same God asking for help yet not truly speaking with God speaking to God. I have asked many do they actually talk with God? Do they hear God? Am I just deaf? Am I wrong for seeking what the Masters have found? I have to say many of those seeking what is termed by many as enlightenment have helped me by sharing their own paths and the sources of wisdom they embrace as the learn from the masters in their own ways.

On this day I wish to say thank you to a Blogger on WordPress who shares his journey and thoughts on the spiritual path. His Blog http://arganesh3.wordpress.com/ has been one that has shared much with me along with many other Bloggers that have shared with me. However on this day his post shared a link that brought me to a page… several actually that helped me understand what I seek and what it is I will find when I find what I seek. I am grateful for the introduction to a spiritual master Sri Chimnoy, I had not previously read his works, I am honored to have read some of them and the affect they have had in a short span.   I suppose I have known the answers all along and just needed to pay my dues and learn the way. Thank you Ganesh and all those many whom I follow on WordPress that share their spiritual journeys.

Please share a smile and your love and help make our world a better place for all we share it with, thank you for taking the time and allowing me to share some thoughts with you. I wish to share a few more thoughts and as this is getting long so I will post a part two.

I must be nuts…?


I am quite sure that what I share at this moment in time is one of my greatest challenges, as I look in the mirror of myself and my soul. Sometimes one can get so down and so hard that nothing matters anymore or so soft one just wants to walk in front of a bus because nothing matters anymore. There are those days I suppose for many as I read what people share in what they write and the people I have talked to who are in such a way.

I am in a rather awkward position at the moment and wonder with wonder what is next for me, it is sometimes the hardest thing I have to do to look at myself in the mirror of my soul with dignity rather than shame. It is the gift of looking in that mirror that gives the dignity and the love that lets me know it all matters and nothing else matters.

One may have ones money taken, ones roof taken away, the job gone and things just taken be left with nothing other than ones clothes and still have dignity. Circumstances even if they are beyond ones control  or ones that are self-created don’t define who I am or who the person going through or having gone through what I am experiencing.

The reason that I am so hesitant is that feeling of shame and fear, yet I am a very beautiful and kind soul so I share a bit of my tale. I am not quite sure how the spiritual Masters of our time would look at me or the therapists and psychological experts would view my thoughts or whether they would even appreciate them. I know there are those who will appreciate and empathize and there are those who will smile and say I am beautiful when they look in the mirror because I shared these few words painful as they are for me to share.

I had thought a few months ago I had turned a major corner and I did only not the corner I thought and not the way I envisioned it. I did however turn a major corner and it is the gift I of self expression I have that compels the sharing of the gift of having nothing and having everything.

I sat last night in silence after speaking with my stepson I have been staying with him and the plans we had have turned a very different direction. He and his wife have a very bad problem, they are drinkers.. And both of them angry mean drunks. The have three beautiful children one is my stepsons the other two his wife’s. I am the only grandpa they will ever know and I love them dearly, the kids are the reason I am here I believe and in a week I am leaving to see my two natural children both of them just had children little girls. I have an urge to call the child services on my way out yet know where they are even though it stinks they do have love for each other and the kids would be separated breaking their hearts and mine.

I was going to go last week I didn’t because I didn’t want to get trapped in the little town my kids live in in PA. I had enough to get a room at a hotel and a bus to see them but not enough to get to San Diego where I may have a job opportunity and if nothing else the beach to write on and enjoy as I pass the time and get the finances to get a place to stay. I didn’t want to see my grandchildren or my children stepchildren included and have to sleep on a park bench. My daughter didn’t want to see me when I was sleeping in my car a few years ago when it all came down on me. My 25 dollar an hour job after child support and the IRS garnishments leaving me with 275.00 at the end of the week and needing half of that for gas money to get to work the next week. She definitely wouldn’t want to bring my granddaughter to visit me in the park..

Well as I sat and pondered and looked at me I don’t feel ashamed, I don’t feel like I am a lost cause I am quite at this moment in time aware of my greatest gift and how I got it. It was given at birth and it is dignity.. the love of who and what I am no matter what I have or don’t have where I am or where I sleep, I am a beautiful kind and loving soul as I was meant to be. No matter what the rest of the world sees I see the world as I love me. I may not have enough loot to stay all week with my kids and grandkids the work with my stepson is in a pause as it takes weeks to get materials and the job he was scheduled to do was shipped the wrong materials. My granddaughter Lillyann  is having surgery this week and has been in the hospital  for the three weeks she has been alive and I need to see her and hold her.

The hardest thing I did today was love myself with nothing to know I love everything around me and am grateful I get to see my children and grandchildren even if I have to sleep on a bench. I am even more grateful I won’t have to although I may not make it all the way to San Diego.. Maybe Texas, Corpus Christi or Austin.. hell Houston and Dallas both are booming with art artists and opportunity. I wonder if I have learned the greatest lesson of all and I am feeling like I am getting closer.. Love unconditional of every creation in all of creation.. I am in awe!  My friend Clark Kent shares his words of love deeply.. I agree start with yourself and the love you will know is as deep as your soul..

Thank you for allowing me to share a thought or two and perhaps a smile.. Love yourself share your love and help make our world a better place for all we share it with. Share a smile and share your love, be the change positive.. Thank you!

Never Give up your Dreams… A reminder from a sweet friend.


I wanted to share some love as I am so loved and have such beautiful friends that share so much with me. I briefly questioned myself recently and was given some great gifts of love as well as some very great reminders as to who and what I am. I am a being of love and inspiration the very products that have shaped me and helped me become the beautiful human being I am as are we all.

I am not one that watches much TV any more and rarely do I watch reality TV so for me the following story was new and as the tears fell with the massage shared as my friend reached out to me I had to once and for all embrace all of the gifts I have been given and be happy and grateful for who I am. I am built for chasing my dreams as are we all, I also have the friends and strength through the life of love I have shared and had shared with me to live those dreams.

There are many inspirational videos out there and many dreamers who have reached for the stars. This one along with the many shared with me out of love and friends wanting for me to succeed knowing at heart I would never give up I had to share. I am so fortunate and grateful for the blessings and the gifts I have and this Video is one of the gifts I share as it is shared with all of us as a gift of love, in the deeper sense. I share my tears of love as I say thank you Dee for sharing the love of Australia, the world and Emmanuel Kelly with me, thank you Emmanuel for reaching for the stars and sharing your loving inspiration with our world!

 

 

Please share a smile share your love, follow your dreams and help make our world a better place for all we share it with. 🙂 ♥ Joe

Superman and me… The deeper Love


As I heal after the bleeding has finally stopped it has been a gift to share and exchange thoughts with many friends and it is a greater gift to express some of those thoughts artistically with some friends especially in a collaborative effort. This collaboration with a fellow blogger and a great friend I share although somewhat more prose than poetry I share it as a poetic expression of the conversations I have shared with my friend as he has given me support and encouragement during the healing process of a wound that has bled for many years.  Thank you CK for your support friendship and love!

The Deeper Love

Why did you leave me?
Why didn’t you love me as I needed you to?
I knew unconditional love,
your actions taught me conditions,
you abandon me, you didn’t protect me,
I now am searching outside myself for answers to why..
Left with no answers deep down inside.

As time went by and I grew

The love of me I never knew

The years went by many tears I cried

Wondering always each day that wen by

What was so bad that I did

That you walked away from your kid

 

All my love was there for you,

Was it not enough to make you true,

I felt the burn deep down inside as though something

Was taken from me with no reasons why.

Knowing the sadness of what I felt I knew inside, the

Painfully looking out the window I would cry.

Growing into this man I would be

Lonely and angered disaster for all to see.

As the years went by the day was buried in my mind

True destruction came as the pain was never left behind

Whiskey, women, drugs, beer and wine in comfort sought

None could undo the damage of the buried thought

As I lost everything more pain and sorrow did it bring

Felt at a loss not knowing as my heart screamed

Lonely and hurt only nightmares instead of dreams

My soul came through to heal all of these violent things,

With love it do so, it did so deep,

No places inside do my dreams await.

I know the pain of what it meant to carry,

It was finally a release I had to give and it was scary.

I can now love inside of the dream that was always hidden

I know this is the path of a deeper love I was given.

As silence surrounded me alone I found me

The prison I was living in a gift you see

Deep in the darkness a gift of light and a dream

 Perceived twisted reality no more did it scream

The depth of love so far below buried now exposed

In the light of my beautiful heart it now glows

No longer bound by the painful prison

The deepest most beautiful love I have been given

By Clark Kent and Joe B.

http://clarkkent07.wordpress.com/

  I thank you for allowing me to share some thoughts as I heal and reach for the stars, I hope we can all find inside the gifts from our wounds stop the bleeding and heal. It is that deeper love that shows us the true beauty of who we are individually and collectively Please share a smile share your love and help make our world a better place for all we share it with.

Dreams my reality and Michael Jackson… The man in the mirror!


Have you ever felt like it was a bad thing to chase your dreams? Or perhaps your dreams were stifling your reality? I am sharing a thought and a piece of my own reality as I ponder the dreams in my heart and my reality. I wonder at times how my dreams are in a way pushing me farther down a hole that at times feels like it is about to swallow me. To be quite honest as strong as I am and after all I have learned in life I am scared.

 

I have been devoting much time perusing my dreams of writing about thing I have been through and inspiring others to reach for the stars while in the dirt. The dirt is a place I have been most if not all of my life my face has been planted in it so many times I taste it even when eating the most delicious of cakes or the best cut of steak. I once dated a very beautiful Lady a debutante that loved my simple pure self and as she walked away explaining she dated Congressmen and Senators she did have a nice weekend with a King of Dirt yet couldn’t be with a king that had no castle.

 

I wanted to change that and had thought that by following my heart and reaching for the stars I could and would change that. I need no castle; in fact my dreams are to see the world, Asia, Africa, Australia, New Zeeland, Greenland, the North and South poles. Share meals and exchange stories of life with people of all walks of life and share smiles and love with those that have only a hand full of grain to eat as well as those with twelve course meals served on plates of silver. I have shared many meals with many people in many places my favorite memories are of one with the poorest yet most beautiful in a ghetto in Germany. I had longed to walk in Africa and share a smile with the little children that have so little perhaps only water to drink. I also longed to share a meal with the one percent and share the story of my meals with those I have shared with those beautiful friends I have shared meals with in ghettos in Europe and the ones I most know here in the U.S.  My friends in Newark, N.J., the Bronx, Binghamton, Patterson, Philadelphia, and even in Salt Lake City Utah.

 

I had the dream of writing and sharing through talking or speaking perhaps both of helping those in the ghettos and other kings and queens of dirt to change our world their lives and my own through love and kindness. Inspiring the one percent to look within and help those who could benefit from just a little bit of what they could share by means of a few dollars and a smile a better quality of life and the end of their hunger. I had hoped and dreamed of being successful and being able to contribute in a meaningful way to ending hunger in our world filled with abundance and share my love of my fellow man and share smiles with some of those that so needed one. I had the dream of making it and inspiring those kings and queens of dirt to reach for the stars and hunger no more and live in a castle of stone rather than living on a sidewalk of stone or a bed of dirt achieve their dreams.

 

I had the gift of being published and although not for money I felt very good about my contribution to such a great cause. I feel very blessed and am very grateful for the opportunity and the gift as it is the first step and I have another debut in another book which selected three of my writing works I felt that hope of realization that I had been published and things were changing. My life is truly filled with amazing gifts and love has changed me in so many wonderful ways.

 

As I pulled into the parking lot to attend the reception in honor of the writers and contributors of the Women’s and Girls lead project I was pulled over by a local police officer and cited for an expired registration and inspection. As I stood there in my finest attire, waiting for the ticket and wondering if they were going to impound my car, I thought about what a friend, once very close to my heart had said. “The time you spend writing and chasing a dream would be better spent working a second job and making some money so you keep a roof over your head and gas in your car as well as food in your cupboard”. One of the proudest days of my life as I stood there I didn’t even have to think about my bare cupboards as I know they are empty. I did have to think about those haunting words.

 

I am not ready to give up on my dreams or myself, I may have to put them on hold for a while and find a way to put food on my shelf. They didn’t impound my car I did get published and with any luck I have inspired a few. I love writing and I love me as well as all of you. I am falling fast and pray the Universe catches me before I splat into the nothingness from where I came the dirt I have known as home. I have the choice of writing and following a dream or being responsible and finding a second job so I can survive. My obligations financially to my children are done yet the back obligations to me former wife are not forgiven nor done for another year even though she has no reason other than greed for holding that over my head.

 

I know not yet what I am going to do I just wanted to say If I don’t write for a while it is not for lack of desire it is for survival. I am not scared of my dreams I am scared of being homeless again even though I would survive and learn much the lessons of the past have taught me perhaps my dreams are foolish and it is better to just be the simple man and carpenter I am and work with my hands and have a roof over my head. I am grateful for the gifts my hands have given me, I had hoped and still do that the gifts in my heart are worth far more.

 

I thank you for allowing me to share a thought or two and I hope we can all share a smile and help make our world a better place for all we share it with. I am most grateful for the support and friendships I have received here on WordPress and in my life. I will write when I have time and look forward to reading all of your posts and words you share. I want to end this post with a song I find to be one of great inspiration and one I embrace on this beautiful day… thank you and I ask your wishes of the Universe may catch me and let me live my dreams! I ask the same for all of you! Much love, Joe!

 

Its official Friday.. And my journey briefly shared in getting there.


I would like to share a thought or two, as I am so moved. I am actually very happy and quite wishing to share why. This Friday a simple me turns a major page at least to me, I am officially to become a published author or perhaps writer is a better choice of words. It’s kind of funny in a way as I didn’t even consider or think about writing anything until a few years ago when my money for a therapist ran out. Homeless divorced and living on what I had left of my unemployment checks after child support was taken out. I was living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cigarettes and faith. My own daughter wouldn’t be seen with me in public as she was embarrassed her dad slept in the WallMart parking lot.

 

Writing was my therapy and my friend; I had never really thought I would ever share any of what I had written. I also never dreamed I would attempt to write and be published anywhere I to be honest was quite scared of what people would think of what I had to say. I also was afraid to express myself in words on a page, because I was not educated beyond my tenth grade in High School even though I had taken my GED and graduated two years before my class in school. I was that kid that never did homework and always got an A on the tests even though I rarely went to class. I was worried that the educated and literary community would just laugh in my face at my lack of grammatical skills.

 

I wrote my first poem in a heartbroken state and knew it was a work of art, I chose to post it on a dating site hoping for a sympathetic woman to perhaps hold me in my despair. Funny thing happened; I never got that woman to hold me I did however get a gift. An academic and an English Professor as well as a quite well known poet commented as to what I felt. I had created a beautiful work of art, an expression from my soul as raw and beautiful as a soul can be. Pure honest from the heart poetry in motion, expression that required no education, other than life’s lessons the most beautiful education a simple man or educated one can learn and embrace. I thank her and owe her a debt of gratitude for sharing her thought with me..” A beautiful and well written piece I love your prose!”

 

I met a lady a few months later as I had to travel to the other side of the country to get a job and be able to live outside of my car. She encouraged me to write and suggested that I write a blog. Writing a blog you can write about whatever you want even things that make you happy. I started writing a blog and things began to change inside of me. I loved to write! As I wrote more and shared more I began to have some confidence in my gift of self-expression. Things in the last few months have changed my life through writing and sharing my soul.

 

I have recently sat at tables with some very educated people and to share what one of those people shared with me is an honor I cherish. As I sat at a table with an English Professor with a Doctorate in Literature and a Marketing Guru with a Masters in Communication discussing some of my poetry and some other random writings the question of my talent and ability was answered in a way that removed all of my fears. The fact that was shared was one I want to express to all those that may let the fear of education stop them from following and living their dreams. The marketing guru, commented that he was in awe and a little jealous. I asked why and his response touched my heart and took away any thought of fear. I am in awe that you can sit at a table or in a room of very educated people and not only hold your own intellectually you actually educate them. You are an average Joe and your presence and your pure and raw expression brings such an energy that one cannot help but walk away with respect and admire you person.

 

I have no idea where or if I will end up as far as writing and being published I do know that I am quite proud of being published in the two publications I have been given the gift of being published in. I am happy to be me and been given the opportunity to live and express myself and be accepted by those publications. I can also share the fact that the one person I truly wish would be at the reception and recognition party will most likely not be there. The bitter to compliment the sweet I suppose.

 

Anyhow I am grateful for the opportunity to share these thoughts and your taking the time to read and share them with me. I would share one more… Anyone can write and we are all poets and philosophers if we share what is pure in our hearts even a simple carpenter can help make our world a better place by sharing the love of his heart and a smile. I hope we can all look inside share a smile and some love expressed in any way even a simple smile as it does make a difference and it does help our world become a better place for all we share it with. Love and be who you are and change our world in a positive way. Thank you for sharing with me.

I will share a poem next as it is National Poetry month. I shared several with my writing group and the poetry group today and felt compelled to share as I did here another side of beautiful me!