An Immortal, a Sorcerer and a thousand years of love…

Jake exited the Lincoln Tunnel entering the urban jungle of concrete, steel, and flesh, the “Big Apple”. He turned onto Tenth Ave. abruptly slamming on the brakes just avoiding a collision with a redhead that had a body like Marilyn Monroe.

“Damn it” he cursed, as his coffee cup erupted like a volcano. He looked at the traffic signal making sure he had the green thinking; it’s suicidal for someone on foot to try to cross against the signal, during the morning rush hour.

What the hell, is she doing, he thought while searching for a napkin to clean up the murky pool that now graced the seat of his jeep ” Betsy”. He retrieved a napkin and looked up from the spotless consol to find the road hazard staring into his eyes as she walked towards him.
The smell of overheating brakes, burnt oil and scorched tires wafted through the window assaulting Jake’s nose as he rolled it down “What the hell are you doing, are you crazy?” he shouted over the cacophony of horns, now blaring simultaneously, by the conductor- less, orchestra …the five lanes of stopped traffic that now surrounded him.

“I came to find you Jake; we need to talk, and you haven’t got much time.” She said before asking rather smugly.” Are you going to let me in or leave me standing here to get run over?”

“What are you talking about, do I know you?” Jake queered, as he pondered whether he should let her in or not. What harm could she do he muttered in his mind. She is half my size and doesn’t look like an axe murderer. Even if she is there was no way she is hiding an axe in that outfit. . She was wearing a perfectly pleated paisley dress which revealed her shapely body, and highlighted her auburn hair, and enchanting green eyes. He unlocked the door and told her “get in.”

The flowery spring like fragrance of her perfume preceded her entry, making him feel somehow lighter, and full of joy. He smiled as climbed in and sat next to him. “My name is Sandra; I have been a friend of yours for close to three thousand years.” She said as her full lips proclaimed, revealing her brilliant white teeth and creating a warm smile.

“What?’ exclaimed Jake” Three thousand years is a long time. In case you hadn’t noticed I am not that old, even though I am forty-three I don’t feel in any way ancient. You, my beautiful friend, can’t be a day over thirty, thirty five at the most.”

“Do you believe in reincarnation?”She retorted, then before Jake could answer she continued”We are spiritual beings, souls that have chosen to take a physical body.

The song just seemed to fit! “The Talisman of Immortality” coming soon to a book store near you!

Become a better writer, LinkedIn.. Groups and critiques

Acrid smoke filled the air, the cast iron hook on the chain suspended from the iron tripod held the cauldron in the center of the well stoked fire. The cauldron now glowing red was all but empty its contents sizzled and crackled as they began to char and burn. The air was filled with the stench of burnt words.
What? Burnt words, stench, where does that come from? What are you talking about Joe?

Why writing of course! Have you ever asked for a critique of your writing? Have you ever asked a group of professional writers to critique a sentence or a paragraph from a first draft of your manuscript or article you may have written?

I recently asked for a critique in a writers group on LinkedIn. It ended up being quite an eye opening experience. I asked for a few thoughts as far as my original opening sentence that I had written for my novel.

“I am curious is the following a good opening sentence for a book? As Jake was driving to work his mind raced, his heart ached, and he didn’t want to go to work.”

130 Comments later I smile and laugh at the scorched words in the pot! The wide variety of feedback and comments ranged from” yes that is a good first sentence” to” that sucks cliché, lazy, no creativity, work twice in the first sentence.. Really! You are obviously a rookie and have no imagination.”

“Feel the heat?” Oh my, as I went to a coaching session at the Community Writing Center I sat down with my friend and coach and mentioned the fact I had posted the sentence for critique in a group on LinkedIn. I was smiling and quite proud of myself for having done so even though I had already been working on my re write I did feel the original sentence had merit and legs of sorts. I wanted to get some opinions that may help me express the same sentiment in a more creative and artistic way. Did the sentence make the reader curious enough to read on?

I smiled big as I told her “I got a lot of feedback”

She laughed as she said”You got Mauled!”

We both laughed for a few minutes as she told me she had read the comments.. Being a connection my activity is on her news feed.

I am sharing this story for two reasons.. One, posting your questions in a writing group is a great way to learn and get constructive feedback. Two, I found it funny to see how many people judge a story, and the writer based on a few words.

“Do you judge a book by its cover or its title?” What about the first sentence or paragraph?

My revised first sentence and couple of paragraphs.. It may change again before I am finished with the re write!

Jake exited the Lincoln Tunnel entering the urban jungle of concrete, steel, and flesh, commonly referred to as the “Big Apple”. He turned onto Tenth Ave. and abruptly slammed on the brakes barely avoiding a collision with a redhead that had a body like Marilyn Monroe.

“Damn it” he cursed, as his coffee cup erupted like a volcano, spewing its contents like a river of magma flowing from hand to thigh. He looked at the traffic signal to make sure he had the green thinking; it was almost suicidal for someone on foot to try and cross an intersection against the signal, during the morning rush hour.

Do you want to become a better writer? Maybe posting some of your work in a writing group will help you along the way! You may find your words smoldering in the cauldron and laugh as your new ones rise like a phoenix from the ashes!
Thank you for stopping by and thank you for being beautiful you! I am grateful as is our world that you choose to share your love and your smiles! It makes our world a better place for all we share it with!
Namaste 

70, 000 words … Homework? My last black cloud! :)

Six years and 70,000 words later, what I learned and what I gained from a book I wrote about black clouds and rain is, I have seen my last black cloud. The word count is an underestimate as is the amount of times I have written the book it was actually four times and three ways of writing the book to share a story. I even dabbled at it poetically, many people have encouraged me and I have spent much time not only writing and editing, I have been to coaching groups, coaches and sent samples to many friends. I would like to say thank you to all of those that have helped and shared thoughts and insight as well as encouragement.

I have composed an amazing reminder that I shall not open nor go any farther in creating… Funny how amazing I feel and how happy I am. I had breakfast with a good friend that had just read my latest revision of the book summary. He knew I was preparing a letter of inquiry to find an agent and get my book published. My fellow writing coaches were quite excited and quite looking forward to reading the letter and were anticipating my long awaited and hard work to be finished and published. I smiled as he asked was I done with the letter and did I want him to read it and share his thoughts.

I smiled as I told him I was done with the book, literally and thoroughly as I chose to not share that story. He smiled as I said it and laughed as shared one of his favorite quotes by Hunter S. Thompson the author of some of his favorite books. “When the going gets tough the weird turn pro” he said half laughing. I smiled and shared with him where I was and what I was feeling. My friend is a fellow writing mentor a good friend and an inspiration in many ways. He knows much about my spiritual side and journey as well as my life as it was and is. I told him that the last six years of writing re writing and hundreds of hours were a gift as they helped me learn to become a better writer.

Seven or so years ago I drew a Tarot spread with a spiritual reader, the basics of the spread were that I had to give up everything and then I would have abundance and prosper beyond my wildest dreams. I did give up or lose everything or so I thought and I had thought the prosperity and abundance would come as I wrote my book and told my story. Funny how what I really needed to give up was the story, every word I wrote every time I edited every time I re hashed my life was just like swimming upstream in a fast moving river. Working my ass off getting worn out and getting nowhere, living in a reality that I didn’t even want to be in trying to embrace the past and show what I had learned as I wrote about it and repeated it vicariously with 70,000 words. I did get stronger however and I did learn to appreciate the contrast, as I grew, I learned to crumple up the pages, gesso my canvas and paint a new picture.

While writing I have been doing what all the masters do and have done throughout time, reading and learning. For me I have been learning a spiritual path as well, something I was sharing in the book I was writing. The lessons I have been learning I am actually learning and knowing that it was time to let the book go… Like the homework I did in school it served its purpose and it is time to move forward. The spiritual lessons have shared that with me in a profound way as have all those hours writing, mentoring, coaching and being coached as a writer.

One of the ways I can express this from the heart is to share with you a lesson I learned as I taught a writer in a writing group. For two years a writer in this group has shared the same two chapters of his book. A very sad and depressing story to say the least, after 80 or so weeks of this I encouraged Joe to re write his book and this time before he started I asked him to tell me how the book he was writing now ended. He was quite bright when he said it ended with a happy ending he got published became a bestselling author got rich met a gorgeous lady and lived happily ever after on a tropical Island. I and the other group mentor challenged him to share the last two chapters or two fresh chapters of a new book painting that picture the next time he came to group. His first three paragraphs he shared at the next group meeting were the best thing I had seen him write and quite worthy of a best seller.

I have given some advice spiritually as well expressing that if things are so negative in your thoughts change the record. Play a different song paint a different picture, change the track think about something that makes you smile, think about breathing. As I was writing my letter to inquire and ask for representation from an agent I felt a smack on the back of my head. It was as if all the words of wisdom and all the things I had been studying came flowing through me. I knew it was time to take my own advice.

Thoughts become things, every invention everything that has ever been created started as a thought somewhere. The spiritual lessons and the time spent in meditation, divination, the study of the occult, the study of the Universe, the law of attraction the laws of nature and the adventure of living have shown me that everything gets where it is supposed to get to. The path of least resistance is the shortest path even if at times it seems the longest. It is easier to go around the rock than go over or through it, water flows down hill, the flower blooms when it is supposed to, the bird will fly when it is ready, the butterfly used to be a caterpillar and we as humans are capable of changing ourselves and our world with our thoughts and we do whether we believe we do or not. I have chosen not to fight the current and embrace the thoughts that will create the future I want not dwell in a past that I don’t want with thoughts that no longer serve me.

I would like to end this post with a thank you all for allowing me to share my thoughts and perhaps a smile. I am very grateful for the gift of sharing here with so many wonderful people it is a gift and honor to have the privilege of doing so. I am painting a new picture and as I do so my blog is sure to change with it as each stroke of the brush and the pen paint in a new perspective the things I wish to share. Thank you for being who you are and being the positive change our world so needs as you share your love and your smiles making our world a better place for all we share it with.

“The Milk is White” My first book review…

I would like to share a thought or two and perhaps a smile. I recently read a book by a fellow blogger and beautiful human being. His name is Ian Gardner his book “The Milk Is White is a very interesting and informative book. Many of the things and the wisdom shared is from his center or his core beliefs and influenced by many great spiritual masters.

I had to read it twice before sharing my thoughts, I am one that truly would like to know what I am speaking about before I do so. Even if giving an opinion I choose to share from an informed position especially when it comes to spirituality or enlightenment so to speak.

I loved the book and found it most interesting especially the personal life and experiences of Ian as he traveled his journey and learned from the greats and his experiences in life. The tragedy the hope the wisdom and the love are all felt in his words. I was quite intrigued with his references to Edgar Casey and some of the other spiritual beings he uses as guidance and support on his journey.

I could elaborate all day on some of the thoughts he shares and the wisdom he presents yet I feel the best review I can give would be to say I enjoyed reading the book read it twice and well I am partial in a way as I have a great admiration of Ian and his heart as well as his philosophy will just say it is a good read! It can be found in several places even for free if you so choose I read it from here

I thank you for sharing some time with me and allowing me to share a thought or two and perhaps a smile. I am grateful for your presence and your being the change positive our world needs. Thank you for sharing your smiles and your love making our world a better place for all we share it with… J Joe