Rewriting is an evolutionary process


A few days ago my good friend and Editor Peter Muller shared with me a compliment that inspired this post.

“Joe it is a great pleasure and gift to get to know you as we have worked together over the last four years. As I work on editing your manuscript I see the parallel between you and your character Jake on his journey to evolve and become enlightened.” Peter remarked.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked with a smile as big as Texas.

“You and your writing have evolved much like your character Jake does in the story. I have to say that you are on the path that is meant for you. You are becoming a great writer.” Peter exclaimed with a smile just as grand.

Peter rarely gives compliments, as an editor he is more likely to give a critique or voice an opinion about how a thought or idea could have been expressed in a more powerful way. I appreciate and am honored that he cares about me enough to teach me and guide me as I learn the craft of writing.
I thought I might share an illustration of how important rewriting is in the evolution of a story.

The following paragraph was selected from my upcoming novel The Talisman.

The rough draft:
Jake felt unlike he had ever felt, it was as if he was immense and small at the same time, he could feel his skin, his muscles, he could feel the valves of his heart open and close, the blood pulsing through his veins, he could feel his lungs expanding and contracting it seemed he could even feel the air separate and mix with his blood. He closed his eyes and even before he started to silently chant he could see the purple cloud and white ball he was becoming familiar with. He silently started to chant, it seemed to him his silent chant was loud and powerful even in its faint delicate silence.

The First rewrite:
Jake had a feeling within, unlike no other feeling he had ever felt. It was as if he was immense and small at the same time. When he sat down, he felt the life, in his skin, and in his muscles. He could feel the valves of his heart open and close, the blood pulsing through his veins. With each breath he could feel his lungs expanding and contracting it seemed he could even feel the air separate and mix with his blood. He had never felt so alive.

The Second rewrite:
When Jake sat down it was surreal as if he was in a dream. He was immense and small at the same time. He felt the cells in his skin, muscles and organs. He could hear the valves of his heart open and close, as the blood pulsed through his veins. With each breath as his lungs expanded and contracted, the air separated and mixed with his blood, he experienced the sensation of being alive.

Each rewrite expressed the same thought yet the last paragraph was far more concise and shared with the reader a more powerful picture. The last version was a better way of showing the reader than telling the reader when compared to the two previous versions.

As the writer I wanted the reader to feel what my character felt and used the word “feel” in its various tenses six times in the original draft, seven times in the first rewrite and only one time in the last rewrite.

Which paragraph do you feel is more powerful and captivating?

I read the first rewrite in a writing group thinking I had captured the essence of what I was trying to convey in a way that would invoke the imagination of my readers and inspire them to vicariously share my characters experience. Then one of the members of the group pointed out that I had used the word feel seven times in one paragraph.

As a writer it was an eye opening comment that made me look at how I could better capture the imagination of my readers by using my own imagination and choosing different words to captivate them.

Good writing is achieved through rewriting. Rewriting is how a story and writer evolve.

Thank you for visiting, I hope you enjoyed the experience and perhaps that in some way this post may enrich your life in some way. Thank you for being beautiful you and making our world a better place for all we share it with.


lost loves

On a canvas paint
Brushes dipped, color filled tips
Expressed from a heart not faint

Inaudible strokes
Deep resounding tones
Echoing words never spoke

Splashes of reds
Over blackened notes
Silent spaces filled with dread

Demons in the shadows hide
Secrets haunting
Found as the light shines inside

As the strokes on the canvas sing
A picture begins to form
Contrast eerily screams

Macabre to some
Hideous to others
Beautiful to one

Darkness, light
Day, night
Life is not black and white

Just wanted to share a thought or two.. I was doing some inner exploration and had a realization that I had not written a poem for some time. I found the poem flowed from my inner self and as I wrote the words I thought I may share them here. I rarely write from such a place yet there are some that may appreciate the sentiment I was inspired to express. Raw and uncut (not edited… sorry I just felt like sharing it as it is)

I am in a process of new beginnings and am quite grateful for all of my life’s experiences… especially that shared with my former loves.

Thank you all for being beautiful you!


Writers Block? A poetic expression…

As I sat at my keyboard to compose
The notes that within me rose
Express my heart in poetic prose

Words could not describe
What I felt inside
Music did in the silence hide

Time and beat
Rhythm and rhyme
Words sometimes cannot define

To embrace the stillness
Is to know the divine
Is a state sublime


I have been completing my novel and am in the process of querying agents. Sorry I have been neglecting to post and read as many posts as usual… A few more days and the letters will be sent the new novel is underway and I will make time to be more present here.

Thank you all for being so awesome and sharing your notes of concern and wonder I am doing well… Much love and appreciation to you all. Thank you for being beautiful you!


Simple Me… a poetically expressed thought

Scattered energies
Fragmented dreams
Nothing is ever as it seems

Dark and light
I embrace
Clarity in stillness not haste

Silence understood
Never bad never good
Judge not

Just be

I am beautiful
I am focused
I am simple me

And free


Distracted… By my virtual Valentine

You have taken over my mind
Distracted feeling quite sublime
Feelings and thoughts transcending time

Thoughts racing bouncing here and there
Should be focused yet I don’t care
Wish my fingers were running through your hair

As you speak
My knees get weak
Your body in bed I seek

To feel your flesh skin on skin
The thoughts that rage within
With you naked we begin

Kisses tenderly
Passion building bursting free
Your legs wrapped around me

Slowly the rhythm builds
Quivering as your depth you yield
Our bodies melting as it is filled

Clenching squeezing contracting
Your inner works reacting
From the depths of me extracting

Our magical attraction
Cosmic reaction
Mutual satisfaction

Distracted by thoughts and dreams
Making love with you on my mind it seems
What a lovely distraction your sweet smile brings

My virtual Valentine
You are on my mind
Can’t wait to meet you in space and time


For the first time since my first kiss… I have no Valentine to share this Valentines Day with. I am a romantic kind of guy and figured I would throw my thoughts out into the Universe and be surprised with what it shares with me! I actually have a lady I desire to make my Valentine she really made me feel so sublime yet I have only just met her and she lives quite a ways away. It may seem kind of … Scary maybe to show up and take her for dinner out of the blue. So I decided to just chill and wrote a poem expressing how I feel. Happy Valentines to you all and my virtual Valentine, maybe next year I may once again have one that is real!

The Key… Acceptance unlock your heart and mind.

“Our watchword, then, will be acceptance, and not exclusion. Not only toleration, for so-called toleration is often blasphemy, and I do not believe in it. I believe in acceptance. Why should I tolerate? Toleration means that I think that you are wrong and I am just allowing you to live. Is it not a blasphemy to think that you and I are allowing others to live?” (Swami Vivekananda, The Complete Works Vol.2)

I was inspired to share the quote as I observe the world around me, I accept that it is a beautiful world and it is by working together as human beings and accepting our differences that our world will evolve and the ignorance as well as the violence will transform into wisdom and compassion.


Acceptance is the key to changing ourselves and our world. Accepting responsibility for our thoughts and actions is the first step towards changing ourselves and our world. Start with accepting that you are you and loving yourself just as you are and embracing who you want to be. Accept it will take effort and know that you are doing the best you can. It will allow you to accept that those around you are human just like you!

Acceptance is a form of love, I happen to feel it is one of the ultimate expressions of love!

I accept that you feel how you feel. I accept that you did what you felt you had to do. I accept that at this moment in time….. I am where I am, I am present, I accept that it is what it is and it is accepted with love. I accept you as you are and me as I am all of us are a part of this wonderful existence we know as life.

Thank you for being beautiful you and changing the world with your love and your smiles, You are making a difference and having an impact. Thank you for being the positive change our world so needs, you are making it better for all we share it with! Thank you!