Become a better writer, LinkedIn.. Groups and critiques


Acrid smoke filled the air, the cast iron hook on the chain suspended from the iron tripod held the cauldron in the center of the well stoked fire. The cauldron now glowing red was all but empty its contents sizzled and crackled as they began to char and burn. The air was filled with the stench of burnt words.
cauldron2
What? Burnt words, stench, where does that come from? What are you talking about Joe?

Why writing of course! Have you ever asked for a critique of your writing? Have you ever asked a group of professional writers to critique a sentence or a paragraph from a first draft of your manuscript or article you may have written?

I recently asked for a critique in a writers group on LinkedIn. It ended up being quite an eye opening experience. I asked for a few thoughts as far as my original opening sentence that I had written for my novel.

“I am curious is the following a good opening sentence for a book? As Jake was driving to work his mind raced, his heart ached, and he didn’t want to go to work.”

130 Comments later I smile and laugh at the scorched words in the pot! The wide variety of feedback and comments ranged from” yes that is a good first sentence” to” that sucks cliché, lazy, no creativity, work twice in the first sentence.. Really! You are obviously a rookie and have no imagination.”

“Feel the heat?” Oh my, as I went to a coaching session at the Community Writing Center I sat down with my friend and coach and mentioned the fact I had posted the sentence for critique in a group on LinkedIn. I was smiling and quite proud of myself for having done so even though I had already been working on my re write I did feel the original sentence had merit and legs of sorts. I wanted to get some opinions that may help me express the same sentiment in a more creative and artistic way. Did the sentence make the reader curious enough to read on?

I smiled big as I told her “I got a lot of feedback”

She laughed as she said”You got Mauled!”

We both laughed for a few minutes as she told me she had read the comments.. Being a connection my activity is on her news feed.

I am sharing this story for two reasons.. One, posting your questions in a writing group is a great way to learn and get constructive feedback. Two, I found it funny to see how many people judge a story, and the writer based on a few words.

“Do you judge a book by its cover or its title?” What about the first sentence or paragraph?

My revised first sentence and couple of paragraphs.. It may change again before I am finished with the re write!

Jake exited the Lincoln Tunnel entering the urban jungle of concrete, steel, and flesh, commonly referred to as the “Big Apple”. He turned onto Tenth Ave. and abruptly slammed on the brakes barely avoiding a collision with a redhead that had a body like Marilyn Monroe.

“Damn it” he cursed, as his coffee cup erupted like a volcano, spewing its contents like a river of magma flowing from hand to thigh. He looked at the traffic signal to make sure he had the green thinking; it was almost suicidal for someone on foot to try and cross an intersection against the signal, during the morning rush hour.

Do you want to become a better writer? Maybe posting some of your work in a writing group will help you along the way! You may find your words smoldering in the cauldron and laugh as your new ones rise like a phoenix from the ashes!
phoenix-bird-wallpapers
Thank you for stopping by and thank you for being beautiful you! I am grateful as is our world that you choose to share your love and your smiles! It makes our world a better place for all we share it with!
Namaste 

2 thoughts on “Become a better writer, LinkedIn.. Groups and critiques

  1. Hi Joe, what a great idea. I have a great editor that calls me on the carpet very well and i apprecite it! I have just finished a small book and after it has been gone through a couple more times I have a couple of people who will be reading it before I move forward. It has been a real great learning process and stretching me for growth🙂

  2. Joe at the end of the day.. you are writing for you too… follow your instincts .. Good you can laugh .. Especially as often those dishing out can not take the heat of the cooking pot LOL..
    Thank you for ALL you write..
    Sending you a very special Christmas Hug your way.. enjoy your Holiday Joe.. love and Blessings Sue

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s