My first poem… Divorce


I had been asked a while back to share my first poem, I hesitated to share it as I have only shared things here that ended on a positive note. I was inspired by a friend that shared a thought with me as I share somethings at times with people that are down and to them sometimes my positive nature and optimism feels like I am throwing salt on their wounds. I will share this thought and maybe it will show another side of me, in truth I have done much work to know who I am. Seven years ago almost to the day my life ended as I knew it.  I learned and grew and evolved and found me, one of the things I learned was if I share a smile, a compliment or a word of encouragement it made me feel better, and 9 times out of 10 made the other person feel better. If I knew I was hurting someone by sharing a smile I would still share it my smile is pure love unconditional! We all have had our moments and have all gone through some trying times. In the near future you may have a glimpse of mine as my book will be done soon and then perhaps you may even ask why I smile, I am sure however you won’t say I have no right to share that smile when you are so down… Once I was told when you think you have hit bottom grab a shovel. I wore a shovel out! Here is the poem forgive me for it not ending on my usual positive note.

Broken and shattered the pieces fell
The mirror broken 7 years to dwell
I had opened the gates to my living hell

The glass reflecting as it flew through the air
Dancing it’s dance twisting in
Sorrow, rage and despair

Each piece sang as it hit the ground
Piercing my heart with its haunting sound

The silence broken as my heart played along
Loudly beating like a heavy metal song
As I sat wonder looking at all that had gone wrong

My mind was taunting my heart and soul
As I tried to drown the with booze and a bowl
Hearing only Metallica for “Whom the Bell tolls”
Wishing for “Sweet you Rock, Sweet you Roll”

I watched time pass so slowly it seemed
The pieces hitting the ground as if in a dream
Slow motion frame by frame as each one hit
My tortured mind and heart louder screamed

Something inside tried to comfort me as I cried
The life that I lived as I watched it die
I looked to the heavens asking why

It matters not as my heart plays along
Just like a line in that rock and roll song
‘Time marches on”

 

I thank you for allowing me to share a thought or two, it was this poem and a comment from an English professor on a dating site that encouraged me to express myself poetically. It took the edge and angry tone out of my expression of pain and hurt making it less vulgar and encouraging me to be the loving man I so wanted to be. Inspiring others to find the silver lining in those dark clouds and to know who they are and express themselves in a positive and beautiful way even if they are in “hell”.

Thank you for being the change positive our world so needs making it a better place for all we share it with… I can smile anytime I choose! 🙂 I love who I am am who I am becoming and who I shall be! Even when I was homeless I still loved me! 🙂 In truth it is how I learned who I was.. A beautiful loving spiritual being experiencing a physical life.

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15 thoughts on “My first poem… Divorce

  1. We all, no matter how we try, have times of heartbreak and pain, it is just part of being human. This doesn’t mean that one needs to let it consume them, which you clearly have not. This is a great poem that hopefully helped you heal. Keep smiling my friend. 🙂

    • Thank you Dom, yes the poem and writing was a great part of the healing process… I think in the end the divorce was one of the greatest gifts I have been given. I learned who I am and found my smile which I cherish as well. I appreciate your sharing the thought and sentiment I am grateful. Every once in a while I look back at how far I have come and start to smile and almost feel like I glow… lol Thank you my friend for sharing your beautiful smile with me:)

    • Thank you Carrie, so true how the words when the damage is so fresh are different as each day goes by. I am truly grateful to have found my way to happy and am grateful for the heartbreak in a way it was a gift as in the end I found love and happiness, I never would have learned to love me as I am nor found that happy that only loving myself and finding inside the happy me! You are awesome Carrie and have a very beautiful heart thank you for sharing the smile and your heart with me! 🙂

    • Thank you Sheri, I am glad you liked it and yes it is a beautiful story that brought me to know that I am immortal and the gift of knowing and living a mortal life. A treasure I would not have known had I not been given this beautiful yet painful gift! 🙂 You are quite awesome and amazing and I am grateful for you in our world. Of all the beings I have had the gift of knowing I know you see me as I see you… Gorgeous! Namaste my beautiful friend!

  2. I love this attitude, I love the smile. Someone has to keep smiling and be positive all the time. As you said, the world needs making it a better lace; we can bear the hurt and make it productive, others can’t, that’s why we should keep smiling. Great post! 🙂 🙂

  3. I have to say I like it, I know is not a positive poem but we must embrace those dark moments, it helps us to change and glad that you love yourself. I have to say poetry has help me in so many ways, that is why I write sometimes, it helps us let it out. Reading this kind of poems help us too, we feel connected, we all have been there. We must embrace our shadow in order to see the light.

    I even made a poem about it…

    http://gallery325.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/the-sea-inside/

    I started another blog but I have not told anyone lol sometimes I do not have time to post

    • I am quite happy you liked the poem, yes it is a great way to get those things out and there is nothing at all wrong with expressing anything in poetry or any other way as far as I am concerned. I sometimes it appears to some only expressing light things I choose to share the good things and embrace the good things as I have had some very dark moments it is only fair to share those as well sometimes. I embraced those dark times and loved them away so I could be happy! Do you use Facebook? There is a shadow group I would like to invite you to join if you would like. I am a sponge for anything spiritual and you would fit right in with that group by the comment you just shared and they would lover to have you and your insight. I shall check out your new blog… Thanks for sharing with me Doris the smiles and the love:) Right back to you Beautiful Lady! 🙂

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