My first poem… Divorce


I had been asked a while back to share my first poem, I hesitated to share it as I have only shared things here that ended on a positive note. I was inspired by a friend that shared a thought with me as I share somethings at times with people that are down and to them sometimes my positive nature and optimism feels like I am throwing salt on their wounds. I will share this thought and maybe it will show another side of me, in truth I have done much work to know who I am. Seven years ago almost to the day my life ended as I knew it.  I learned and grew and evolved and found me, one of the things I learned was if I share a smile, a compliment or a word of encouragement it made me feel better, and 9 times out of 10 made the other person feel better. If I knew I was hurting someone by sharing a smile I would still share it my smile is pure love unconditional! We all have had our moments and have all gone through some trying times. In the near future you may have a glimpse of mine as my book will be done soon and then perhaps you may even ask why I smile, I am sure however you won’t say I have no right to share that smile when you are so down… Once I was told when you think you have hit bottom grab a shovel. I wore a shovel out! Here is the poem forgive me for it not ending on my usual positive note.

Broken and shattered the pieces fell
The mirror broken 7 years to dwell
I had opened the gates to my living hell

The glass reflecting as it flew through the air
Dancing it’s dance twisting in
Sorrow, rage and despair

Each piece sang as it hit the ground
Piercing my heart with its haunting sound

The silence broken as my heart played along
Loudly beating like a heavy metal song
As I sat wonder looking at all that had gone wrong

My mind was taunting my heart and soul
As I tried to drown the with booze and a bowl
Hearing only Metallica for “Whom the Bell tolls”
Wishing for “Sweet you Rock, Sweet you Roll”

I watched time pass so slowly it seemed
The pieces hitting the ground as if in a dream
Slow motion frame by frame as each one hit
My tortured mind and heart louder screamed

Something inside tried to comfort me as I cried
The life that I lived as I watched it die
I looked to the heavens asking why

It matters not as my heart plays along
Just like a line in that rock and roll song
‘Time marches on”

 

I thank you for allowing me to share a thought or two, it was this poem and a comment from an English professor on a dating site that encouraged me to express myself poetically. It took the edge and angry tone out of my expression of pain and hurt making it less vulgar and encouraging me to be the loving man I so wanted to be. Inspiring others to find the silver lining in those dark clouds and to know who they are and express themselves in a positive and beautiful way even if they are in “hell”.

Thank you for being the change positive our world so needs making it a better place for all we share it with… I can smile anytime I choose! 🙂 I love who I am am who I am becoming and who I shall be! Even when I was homeless I still loved me! 🙂 In truth it is how I learned who I was.. A beautiful loving spiritual being experiencing a physical life.

It will be okay


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I may be bent

yet I am not broken

I feel your love

though the words are not spoken

I am grateful this and every day

knowing deep inside you help me find the way

in my heart I hear you say

You are loved and it will be okay

Thank you for sharing your time with me here… I am grateful

Thank you for being the positive change our world needs sharing your love and your smiles making our world a better place for all we share it with. 🙂