I would like to share a thought or two, as I am so moved. I am actually very happy and quite wishing to share why. This Friday a simple me turns a major page at least to me, I am officially to become a published author or perhaps writer is a better choice of words. It’s kind of funny in a way as I didn’t even consider or think about writing anything until a few years ago when my money for a therapist ran out. Homeless divorced and living on what I had left of my unemployment checks after child support was taken out. I was living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cigarettes and faith. My own daughter wouldn’t be seen with me in public as she was embarrassed her dad slept in the WallMart parking lot.
Writing was my therapy and my friend; I had never really thought I would ever share any of what I had written. I also never dreamed I would attempt to write and be published anywhere I to be honest was quite scared of what people would think of what I had to say. I also was afraid to express myself in words on a page, because I was not educated beyond my tenth grade in High School even though I had taken my GED and graduated two years before my class in school. I was that kid that never did homework and always got an A on the tests even though I rarely went to class. I was worried that the educated and literary community would just laugh in my face at my lack of grammatical skills.
I wrote my first poem in a heartbroken state and knew it was a work of art, I chose to post it on a dating site hoping for a sympathetic woman to perhaps hold me in my despair. Funny thing happened; I never got that woman to hold me I did however get a gift. An academic and an English Professor as well as a quite well known poet commented as to what I felt. I had created a beautiful work of art, an expression from my soul as raw and beautiful as a soul can be. Pure honest from the heart poetry in motion, expression that required no education, other than life’s lessons the most beautiful education a simple man or educated one can learn and embrace. I thank her and owe her a debt of gratitude for sharing her thought with me..” A beautiful and well written piece I love your prose!”
I met a lady a few months later as I had to travel to the other side of the country to get a job and be able to live outside of my car. She encouraged me to write and suggested that I write a blog. Writing a blog you can write about whatever you want even things that make you happy. I started writing a blog and things began to change inside of me. I loved to write! As I wrote more and shared more I began to have some confidence in my gift of self-expression. Things in the last few months have changed my life through writing and sharing my soul.
I have recently sat at tables with some very educated people and to share what one of those people shared with me is an honor I cherish. As I sat at a table with an English Professor with a Doctorate in Literature and a Marketing Guru with a Masters in Communication discussing some of my poetry and some other random writings the question of my talent and ability was answered in a way that removed all of my fears. The fact that was shared was one I want to express to all those that may let the fear of education stop them from following and living their dreams. The marketing guru, commented that he was in awe and a little jealous. I asked why and his response touched my heart and took away any thought of fear. I am in awe that you can sit at a table or in a room of very educated people and not only hold your own intellectually you actually educate them. You are an average Joe and your presence and your pure and raw expression brings such an energy that one cannot help but walk away with respect and admire you person.
I have no idea where or if I will end up as far as writing and being published I do know that I am quite proud of being published in the two publications I have been given the gift of being published in. I am happy to be me and been given the opportunity to live and express myself and be accepted by those publications. I can also share the fact that the one person I truly wish would be at the reception and recognition party will most likely not be there. The bitter to compliment the sweet I suppose.
Anyhow I am grateful for the opportunity to share these thoughts and your taking the time to read and share them with me. I would share one more… Anyone can write and we are all poets and philosophers if we share what is pure in our hearts even a simple carpenter can help make our world a better place by sharing the love of his heart and a smile. I hope we can all look inside share a smile and some love expressed in any way even a simple smile as it does make a difference and it does help our world become a better place for all we share it with. Love and be who you are and change our world in a positive way. Thank you for sharing with me.
I will share a poem next as it is National Poetry month. I shared several with my writing group and the poetry group today and felt compelled to share as I did here another side of beautiful me!