Have you ever felt like a black cloud was hanging over you? I choose that thought though many others over the course of time have been used to describe why me. Every negative thing that can happen, will happen. “Murphy’s Law” it is quite ironic how it seems to happen to all of us at times no matter who, where what color what creed, what country city or farm. For some that cloud lingers for a long time I was one of those fortunate or perhaps hard headed ones. That would be up to your perspective.
I was at about the lowest point I felt a man can get several times in my life it is unfortunate in some ways, and I can just share the end result of my story now. Yet where would the fun be as well as the substance of my words and thoughts. I will begin upfront with a short heartfelt apology to the English Scholars that may choose to allow me the gift of sharing with them. I am not an English Major I was fortunate to receive a gift of education that may even allow me to finally get that English degree.
The story I am choosing to share is one of my perspective and my journey and realizations through the gifts of those black clouds and for me the way they formed and the gifts of my Heavenly Chest so to speak. Heaven on Earth is the greatest treasure one can possess in our lives’ on this planet. I would like to share my story from the perspective of my first step above the clouds. It is my treasures found, the pots of gold or the silver lining. The lightning the thunder the floods and the pain are part of the story. I share the point of the treasures as they are my path the rungs on the ladder, the stairs on the circular staircase to the sea of blue.
When I went to seek help for my children I went to school. I had been learning my whole life and at forty I thought I had the proverbial “Tiger by the tail”. I remember coming home from work on many occasions and the sink being full of dishes as well as toys and children’s things everywhere. My children where ten and thirteen, I worked every hour I could so my children would have what I only could wish for like a Cinderella. Like many I never met my fairy godmother. Why didn’t they show more respect not only for their things but to me? School was in session, my life as I knew it was indeed over.
From the time I was born it seems there was a black cloud over me. I say that for a few reasons. My father as it is told was a “Street Rat” so to speak. A bastard child of a, “Goody Two Shoe Mormon” leader. Wealthy and if I may say not a Saint of the latter days or any days for that, matter I can only speculate however, never having met him. My mother a fifteen year old porcelain doll a child having a child. It was the era of change and abortions were legal. I would have to say the greatest gift from a black cloud came from my mother. The first rung on my ladder the first silver lining was the strength of my mom in choosing life for me.
My story I share from my view today, above those black clouds every day a little higher I rise and greater the view. The pockets of sunny days and fond memories and the dark clouds of obscurity, lucid and glowing with treasure.
I thank you for allowing me to share a thought or two, I have been working on many projects and started a book a few years ago, the story is one I am compelled to share. I choose to share a page as it is what I have been doing with a great deal of my time lately. I also feel that in our world of so many issues that affect our lives in a negative way there is always a positive lesson we can learn within ourselves. Those lessons learned within help shape our world without in a positive way if we choose to have the strength to go within and learn them.
I thank you for allowing me to share with you and ask that we please share our smiles and share our love making our world a better place for all we share it with. Thank you all for being the change positive and sharing your smiles and love.