I should share my thoughts genuine as I am compelled to do. I have been working through a few major issues in my heart of hearts and sometimes feel I have bitten off more than I can chew. It is funny how the loss of one so dear to ones heart can lead to such upheaval in ones heart and life a tsunami of sorts. My whole being I have once again questioned to my core and the spiritual side is harder to please than my emotional side. Love is the answer and the most powerful force in our Universe. Love is the key to my core and how I deal with my dilemma the solving of both was and is the answer I love, Love!
I lost not only the Lady I loved but the rest of the things that went with her. Some of those things were a challenge to deal with yet would be non issues in our world in the future. I have shared such and moved beyond beating a dead horse yet one of the things I miss most other than the intimacy and physical relationship is the friendship. I have been here in Utah for a relatively short time and as it were true friends are hard to find and rare. Patience is the key to finding true friendship. The friends that share on here are friends I cherish as so many share the truth of their hearts and the knowledge and wisdom shared from their own Tsunamis. Together we are a great Tsunami making change positive in our world!
The truth is that other than her my best friend was her dog, a little cute thing that I adore and adores me almost as much. I miss them both dearly and the loss of both has been a great challenge. So for the first time in my life I bought a pet. A fish, that is a beautiful addition and a friend in my world and my heart. He is a beta, black and purple with white fins that looks much like my little dog friend. I named him pup just as I called the dog. It is funny that at 48 I just got my first pet, he can’t sit on my lap and give me love yet he shares a gaze with me and I swear he smiles.
The matters of my heart I have accepted and even though the past is in the past a promise was made that I must honor. It’s funny that when you make a promise to your Lord you may have thoughts that you may not be able to keep it however you will keep it! The man that I am I must stay the course and honor my word even though my honor was already lost when I lost the gift I was given. I have tried and taught my children as myself that two wrongs don’t make a right and to wrong my Lord twice is not in my core. Love rules my core and that love is sacred, the light that has carried me through the darkest of times is one I cherish more than life.
I have the same commitment to being the change positive, I had the gift of sharing part of my journey and the realization of my purpose with a friend earlier this day and must say I am quite humbled again as we spoke and as I write. I have a very special gift in being a human being as we all do and that gift is gratitude. My path to finding me and the light of love at my core was one of dramatic heart break and I have made major change then and now for the gift of that heart break. My Honor and my Love are far more valuable than pride and love true is the most valuable gift of all. That love resides in us all and we should honor our Maker and Universe for that gift unconditional…I could break my promise and be forgiven yet I could not forgive myself. Truth and honor are the same and exist not without each other we are not existent without the love of our Maker. Be we believers in evolution or God we all have to give credit to our maker for we would not be here just by chance. Thank you Lord!
That said I have shared my thoughts and as there is only love, I have no pain in sharing such honor is true, pride is ego. I hope that in the future my writings will be more of a worldly nature as that is where true change needs to happen. The effect of a pebble tossed in a pond has effect yet the power of a tsunami has true effect that changes in a major way not only the land and the people that share it but the world and Universe in which it is a part. Thank you for allowing me to share a thought and a smile. Please share your smile and your love and be the change positive!