My thoughts shared today are of my heart and the love that dwells within. I by nature am one that falls in love easy. Falling out however is not possible. I tend to fall deep and hurt deep, yet as some may view that as a weakness it to me is a great strength. One that adds, to my being, a depth that few will ever experience. I have had many Queens of my heart more in the last five years than I wish I had yet the gift shared reinforces my resolve to find what I want and need. I never stop loving anyone, that loves just gets put in a special place and observed by my heart in another perspective.
Loving relationships don’t just happen they are built, every new love is great for a span of time then the new wears off and then what? I have been fortunate to have found who I am in part from books on relationships. I have to say the most important thing in any relationship is communication and honest open communication of ones feelings in a romantic relationship is the only way a real loving relationship. I have left many a Queen for the lack of that very thing, some of the most beautiful and some of the richest women that one of my standing would die for yet I would rather walk.
Why? Well here is my lesson that I will share, and I suppose I should give credit to Oprah! Here and a few others such as Harville Hendrix, John Gray, as well as my Therapist and the internet advice columns and many psychological tests and some dating sites. When I got divorced I tried to join a dating site and the response set my head spinning, the advice and the note was very awakening! As I was absolutely ignorant, to the needs and wants, of women at least according to my test results. I decided then and there I was going to change that as well as my life and the way I love and need to be loved.
I did couples therapy alone I read every scrap of information and learned as I reflected and dated the wrong way for me to love and be loved. I personally will not stay in a relationship with a partner that doesn’t share her feelings. Introverted or not if you will not share we can not grow. After twenty two years with a woman that rarely said I love you, never said I am sorry and never said you hurt my feelings as I poured my heart out and shared all. I learned that I will learn in a few weeks if that new partner will share, how? I ask and express that even though we are just starting a relationship it is important right from the start to be honest and up front with our feelings or we can not grow. I can not give you what you want if you don’t tell me, you can not give me what I want if I can not tell you!
I have a Queen of my heart that I felt I would walk in the heavens with hand and hand. She has the depth of heart and soul as well as the desire to grow and she loves me yet it took the end for her to share her honest feelings and well as she took action for herself I support her and applaud her. She is seeing a therapist and with any luck she will read “Getting the Love you Want” by Harville Hendrix. I know that when we first met and had our first conversation as to what I want out of our relationship is the one you grow from a relationship as described in that book as well as many others. We bought the book and she never opened it. She felt betrayed because I left and I felt betrayed because she wouldn’t share her feelings…
Communication is the most essential part of any relationship be it romantic, business, friends and especially our children. Be honest and share your true feelings or intentions as well as your desires and they need to share back. If you are with someone that will not share their needs fix it! I wish all a smile and love in your hearts. Thank you for allowing me to share a thought or two and please! Share a smile share your love and be the change positive. Positive change begins with communication shared with love the most powerful force in our Universe! Thank you again.