Love it makes us smile it fills us with good feelings and it makes us grow. I have in the last couple of months experienced such highs and lows. I had to actually look at what love is to me and there is no definition that fits what love is. Its depth is as shallow as it is limitless the lessons learned through many years of many kinds of love come to my mind as I reflect over the years and the last couple of months. I seem to get my lessons all at once when they are not so pleasant.
I suppose at this point I should elaborate, my son is 17 and lives in PA with his mom. He chooses to live there to finish his last year of High School. I was hurt very much a little over five years ago when I went through the divorce and custody process when my children chose to live with their mother. That hurt as much as their mom throwing me and twenty years of my heart away. I am not saying I don’t understand or accept why they made their choices. It still hurt me to my core, the dark side of love a part of love.
My son ran away from his mothers, my best friend won’t talk to me and I am reflecting and pondering the truth about love and how it affects my world in such a magnificent way. I have learned and evolved enough to know the best and truest love of all. The love of me! I realize that such a revelation is not such a big thing to most. To me however it is quite wonderful and only possible because I sought answers to questions and got assistance.
I being a “man” am not supposed to seek help especially emotional or mental help. That after all is a sign of weakness in the tough man world I live in. I believe that true strength is being able to acknowledge your weakness’s and turn them into strengths or at least acknowledge them and work on improving them. The strength to look within and know who you really are is amazing the strength to admit and seek change to better be who you are meant to be is awesome. The strongest and most physical men I know are some of the weakest I know.
Through many years of experiences I learned how little I know about love, I did learn that love of ones self is the key to being able to truly love another and all others as well as everything that touches our lives and world. My love of self, learned through the grace of God, therapists, books, and those I encounter as I live my life has allowed me for the first time to accept love in its darkest and its brightest, its shallowest and its never ending deepness. I love me and that allows me to accept the fact that if my son wants to run away rather than deal with his weakness’s or my best friend doesn’t want to talk to me or my former wife wants to have a new Jaguar rather than me the GTO it’s all good! I accept that they have their own choices and their own consequences and love them as they are. I want to be loved as I am and so it is with all of us. If we can love who we are then we can love others for who they are.
The love of our Maker is in our hearts and souls it is the unyielding force that is ever expanding our universe and the greatest gift of all. Limitless and endless without his love we would not be. The love of my maker and his grace is the ultimate gift and the love of his son is what inspires me to live a life of love! I thank you for allowing me to share some thoughts, emotions and most of all some love. I hope we can all share some love and some smiles as love is the most powerful force in the universe and the catalyst of positive change and growth. Smile share the love be the change!