What the heck are you doing you idiot? Or he bud that wasn’t the most intelligent way to handle that, perhaps next time you could… instead. What makes some people think they should yell and belittle people. What gives them the right, the gift to place themselves above another? Their ego is not an excuse well perhaps an old excuse yet certainly not acceptable.
I have been given a gift so to speak by being around a wide variety of people in my work places and fortunate to be more of an optimist and an extrovert. It is often a refreshing thing when I get the chance to chat with the late twenty early thirty guys I work with. Most these days are a little more open to suggestions and sharing suggestions. They even may share a feeling or two, something rarely seen on jobs sites of the past, unless they were feelings of anger expressed in violent acts.
Men are evolving and things are slowly changing for the better, the men coming up are more likely to acknowledge their faults and mistakes as well as see those of their parents before them. More likely to ask for help and advise from a therapist instead of a bottle and an ostrich like bury my head in the sand and it will fix itself attitude I see in many of my friends and associates of my generation and the baby boomers before me.
I like that as I talked with a friend at work, who is a few years younger than I had a conversation about old school parenting. There are a good range of ages amongst the crew we work on and a varied vision of proper parenting. Interestingly to me as our conversation unfolded we had much the same views and feelings on the subject of how we as people should be treated and treat each other. That to both of us and many experts in the field of child development is the same when dealing with children as they are people too.
We both exchanged memories of parents yelling and behaving like lunatics breeding nothing but resentment and leaving us wondering what the heck did I get from that display? Did I learn what not to do or why not to do it? Did I learn how to turn on a comedy show a one man raving lunatic show where I the audience got to participate? Did I learn to effectively convey a lesson to my future children?
Would not the better way have been just to have said don’t leave the dirty dishes on the table, it’s a breeding ground for germs and just looks trashy and I don’t like it. How do you feel about places that you go that look trashy? You just feel like you have to get out of there or you might get dirty. Or maybe you like to live in a dirty environment either way at this house that will be un-acceptable. That can be clearly understood and brings no resentment.
My friend and I came to a mutual conclusion that it is far better to communicate with all of our fellow human beings regardless of age with respect and follow the golden rule. If we express ourselves we won’t disrespect others when we follow the golden rule. When you yell at anyone an adult or child you are not being the best person you can be.
Thank you for allowing me to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you. It makes us better people when we stop and consider another’s feelings or situation before we react in a negative and destructive way. Change that lasts is deep and starts within us as individuals. Change for the positive is good for us and our fellow human beings.