Words chosen with consideration very rarely offend another unless they are intentionally used to offend. It is intriguing to me the ways some choose to use very offensive words and try to make themselves believe they are being positive. Especially among the young men and women it seems the use of vulgar language and derogatory, degrading terms are used through out a whole conversation.
The word and perhaps it may be considered a degrading term that most often comes to my mind is the “ N” word and any form there of. Kids say it to each other; young adults say it to each other, heck I have heard old people say it. I do believe that for the most part we all find the word and its reference offensive. I have heard it from the mouths of people from almost all races, even in jest you offend people when you use such terms.
Then the next word that comes to mind is the “B” word. Women use it when talking to other women, men use it, and the most painful for me to hear is the youth using it. To hear my daughter use it well… One of my worst and most hurtful memories I have involves my daughter. She was around eleven at the time; she was and is a strong willed, opinionated person. She had been really riding her brother and in general being mean, name calling things of that nature. Some may say well that is common among siblings…. Okay perhaps it’s common, yet is it right? We don’t tolerate that behavior in any other group of people or in our society.
My son ran in the house crying that his sister was calling him names. At the time my son was around nine, he knew he wasn’t to hit his sister and was for one hurt and for another had no way to defend himself. I called his sister in and asked for her version of what was going on. She pretty much agreed that she had said the things he had said she did. Not wanting to let this behavior continue and being somewhat angry I yelled at my daughter my voice booming breaking my little angels heart and my own as well.
“Stop being such a witch, why would you call anyone any names they only hurt when you choose such witchy words”. Yes I used the word “witch”, yet even a four year old these days would have known what I meant. She ran to her room crying slamming the door behind her. The look of hurt in her innocent eye’s, the last thing in the world she ever dreamed of was that her dad the man she trusted and loved most had just called her a “B”… I knew instantly before the words even came out of my mouth the point I wanted her to get. My poor choice of words even as carefully chosen as I thought I had chosen were very hurtful and painful for both her and I. Any parent that has a child and seen the pain in their child’s eye’s of a lost innocence and the true pain in their souls would know the pain of causing that loss. If not I am sure you can imagine the pain one would feel if they just broke the heart of the person, they knew, loved and trusted most in the world.
I was going to give a few more examples however I said what I wanted to say with the exception of vulgar language. It is so common I wonder why we even still consider it vulgar. Personally I find it rather disheartening to hear those four letter words every where I go even if I choose to stay home I am still bombarded with vulgarity especially the “F” word. There was a time when it was the goal of mankind to become more advanced and more civilized. Education was the key, we evolved and learned and compiled until through out our world there are billions of words. Literally speaking hundreds of thousands of ways to express our thoughts yet the worst most offensive of them are the “Chosen” ones.
It is especially offensive to our older folks that have watched the country slip and slide in the muck of poorly chosen words. They fear when they pass a group of our youth. The impression they get as they pass by a group of cursing loud youngsters is one that if they don’t respect themselves they certainly aren’t going to respect me. They have seen the great destruction of the words of hate and the damage done by them.
When I am passing one of those groups of youngsters and see the reactions of old Ladies especially, as they curse and disrespect themselves. I like to ask them if not for yourselves for the sake of your Grandma’s and those around you show some respect please and keep it to a minimum when a lady goes by. Thanks for stopping by and allowing me to share my thoughts with you. I hope that we can all choose positive words and help make positive changes in our world.