A little comet streaking through space
Moving along at an incredible pace
Clarity and vision of heavenly grace
Cold and dark space and time
Surrounded by beauty the heavens sublime
Alone in the comfort of love divine
Attracted to light both near and far
Embracing the beauty of every star
Little comet of love where ever you are
Seeing a star and a planet of blue
Traveling closer as passing through
Around not through the star it flew
Though slightly melted it actually grew
The love from the planet its strength renewed
The pools of darkness the depths of the lakes
Neither good nor bad not judging mistakes
The tail of the comet leaving star dust in its wake
Universe so vast both present and past
Spreading great love ever so fast
Little comet your dreams will come to pass
Traveling in lucidity searching and watching all that will be
Passing through many galaxies
Fearless and loving truly free
Sharing star dust creating loving memories
Thank you for allowing me to share some thoughts with you. My internet access is somewhat limited for a few days and not being a fast food junkie a trip to the burger place is rare. I post this post as I am given a gift. I am sorry for the delays and the lack of commenting on the many posts I read and share. Next week I should be back on track and as I have been working on a new business and writing poems and a book I hope to meet with a little more free time to blog more soon. I am trying to concentrate on my Entry in the Veterans Creative Arts Festival. The poem above is one of my potential entries as such your feedback and thoughts would be very welcome.
Thank you again and even though I have a semi smart phone I do enjoy reading you posts although I can not comment on them I truly enjoy them all. Please share a smile share your love and help make our world a better place for all we share it with. Thank you again and please share your smiles and your love!
beautiful poem …… heavenly
A beautiful choice for your entry.. Thank you for allowing us all to share
Thank you, I revised it slightly for the contest. I am grateful for your taking the time to share your thoughts and most for the smile!
I enjoy the occasional tercet in this poem. Quite a break from your couplets! Bravo!
okay, I just caught sight of your final advisement in your post vis a vis this poem, so here goes–a lil constructive criticism (please don’t get mad)
You are so very close to writing this in all tercet form–and have, in fact, the necessary number of lines to format it this way, and I would like to see it put entirely in this form. This aesthetic might tip the scales, you know, should there be any sticklers among the judges.
This restructuring might involve then altering lines just slightly so they fit together in sets of 3–completing the thought in the set, so to speak—but not much, and you could probably do it in two –or three!–shakes of a lamb’s tail. Again though, the content is superb.